Anger

Marvin Gaye had a lot of swagger, the embodiment of cool. However, Marvin was an artist. That term is used loosely today, as we have a lot of characters making musical pieces, and making a career out of copying previous works. The master scientist is the one who discovers a new formula. To work in a prestigious laboratory is one thing, working for NASA is another.

Anger, can make you old, yes it can
I said anger, can make you sick, children... oh Jesus
Anger destroys your soul...

As a great artist, Marvin was not too cool to express anything he may have felt. His album Here, My Dear, (dedicated to his ex-wife) has a very wise track on it. It always stood out to me because it fades in. Marvin was known to freestyle in sessions, and I've wondered what the hidden lyrics could be. It must have been a positive release during a time when he wanted to do something real stupid. After all, cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Someday soon I hope and pray like Jesus
I'll reach that wiser age
Hope I will learn I really never never profit
From things I do in rage

I've had days where I've caused myself headaches just because of what I chose to dwell upon. As I get older, I'm learning to continue to funnel all that energy into constructive efforts. I'm also hoping that focusing will teach me to weed out those catalytic elements. It's not always easy, but even when you can't remove the element, you can diffuse the stimulus by creating a smoke screen and vanishing before it clears, leaving nothing to hit.

Mickey Bain is home! Free Tyrone Cash!

Where's the Love?

The need for love is key to human survival. I remember laughing at the song, "Lookin' for Love (In All The Wrong Places)," mainly because I find it most memorable when sang by Eddie Murphy with a Buckwheat accent. I never gave much thought to the deeper meaning of the song until the past week.

At the risk of sounding weak, I think felt myself reach an emotional low. Perhaps I had been there awhile, and what I felt was my resolution to stop caring about my present state. Irregardless, I applied the song's theorem to the idea that time and energy should only be invested in those who will yield mutually beneficial returns. This works in theory. However, love is intrinsically unselfish and the concepts of benefit and profit must be more openminded. In trying to exercise genuine love alone, you find yourself seeking the best in others and wanting to encourage and integrate with the beauty you see in that person, beyond the basic realm of physical activity. You find yourself in their company so that you may influence and be influenced. We need to grow from each other.

However, humanity is flawed. The evil among us causes humans to go down various paths of personal pain. Pain is contagious, as those inflicted seek to spread the condition to others. When this effects those in your cypher, it is time to cut losses. Usually, it is the doubters and small minded members of the clique that will get you crucified. What is tragically beautiful about the human race is that when truth is on your side, there will be no shortage of believers.

Haters

In my humble opinion, the most dangerous and widely accepted concept in Hip Hop is that of "The Hater."

I went to Urban Dictionary.com to seek understanding on the matter, but it was hard to come up with general consensus, as there are 108 definitions. The definition with the highest votes states:

A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock somelse down a notch.

My argument is for the second most popular definition:

Overused word that people like to use just because someone else expresses a dislike for a certain individual.

Criticism can be harsh, and sometimes singed with hate. However, the need to not be criticized is a founding principle of bitchassness. Anyone can bang on a piano and writhe their head, singing what comes to mind, but there's only one Stevie Wonder. Public opinion gauges your greatness. It's a hard fact of life. Some achieve it after their lifetime, but they were great just the same. How can you be considered great with no display of the true measure of your skills. Ascending to the next level requires new challenges. The monetary system will always be a rat race, but champions thrive for conquest in contest.

That being said: You cease to be a hater when your observations are proven to be truth.

Cost Accounting

We analyze our mistakes in order to recognize familiar situations in the future.

"What should I have done? Where did I go wrong?"

This can often lead to playing out alternate realities in our imagination. If we are not careful, we may become resentful of catalysts that led us down the current path. However, maturity has schooled us that others will pose as irreproachable, regardless of the positions of power they've held in and over your life. Once you are cast into the voids of true liberty, your soul and spirit are theirs alone, with none other to lay claim or place blame.

Many believe cosmic and karmic forces control the rhythms of our lives. Others, that a deity is ordering each specific step. The new catchphrase of our time is that while men and women are subject to lies, mathematics reins supreme. In our complexly algebraic existences, we chose the next variable in hopes that it will produce a desired equation. Many copy examples from the textbooks and receive similar solutions. Others are gifted enough to discover new formulas based off experimentation.

Businesses are almost always concerned with cutting costs. It is the best way to raise profits without raising the price for the end customer. I've analyzed many of the disappointments and failures of the past, knowing that these are the things that make me who I am. Recently I've garnered much resentment toward different variants in my life, attributed to the perceived inefficiencies they bore in their assumed role. The resentment felt bears direct correlation to the idea that the costs expensed were "too high" and "unnecessary."

What determines if the cost was too high if you have not yet determined your end profit?

Fear & Loathing

I think my biggest fear is death. Not of death itself, but the idea that it is floating around in obscurity waiting to bring everything you love to an end. Many people have managed to leave an influence that carries beyond them. In fact, outside of fortune, fame and family, global influence is what most of us strive for. The aforementioned pursuits can even be considered means to that end or even representations of that success.

I've missed a lot of opportunities that I didn't deem worthy of my time or focus, because I didn't realize how they could benefit my growth. I picked up a small piece of wisdom from somewhere random, probably Twitter. "We only regret the things we didn't try." The quote is erred, due to generalization. However, there is no pain like retrospecting on lost moments which could have defined your life.

Mother told me that anger can cloud your vision. Avoiding outlets for your anger can lead to insanity. Compound that with anger at oneself: hemlock in the bones.

There's nothing to fear but fear itself. It seems people are afraid of being cowards. Maybe that anger is the reason to drink the cup.

"After all, it's MY cup." (c) Lil Wayne

"O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." (c) Jesus

Reminder to Self: I asked for this.

Discipline

This is a word that's been heavy on my mind lately. Along with habit, attitude, inspiration and perception. I've been taking inventory on these values of my life. There's been several times where I've come up with new schedules, etcetera, and find that I soon lose interest. I never treated these as failures, but experiments building experience.

As the plan unfolds, it becomes necessary that I maintain this level of excellence in all my pursuits. At the same time, I must be at peace with what is out of my control. Mastering the small hills, the mountain is soon scaled. The first of these is fear.

"Get Off Yo' Ass!"

The first part of solving a problem is to admit you have one.

I have a problem. A myriad of them actually. Social networking has killed my ability to express myself in extended form. This is not a good thing when you're trying to be a lyricist/emcee/author. I didn't want to be a blogger. They tend to be over-opinionated entities that hold any and every thing to unreasonable standards of an abstract value system. They are over-emotional people who run to keyboards to resolve issues through slander and libel. They are attention whores who'll die to be famous for anything, while bearing no intrinsic talents or skills. They are a symptom of our sickness.

However, in my pursuit of Chairmanhood, I've realized that maintaining an organized mind requires organized functions and releases in the physical realm. It would behoove me to format a disciplined release for the alchemical process of my mind. So I'll be blogging from here on out. If I disclosed my end goal in this, it would make the blog twice as long, so I won't try. Let's start walking this out...