...Just Like Geritol

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I'm quite eclectic and that this trait manifests itself most through my taste in music. Even as I write this, the last 5 songs on my iTunes where by Brook Benton, The Ebonys, The Unifics, The Whatnauts, and DMX. Today was the anniversary of DMX's The Great Depression, by the way. That album ranks in my Top 5 most disappointing purchases of all time. I may not even have to limit that to musical purchases. I'm not sure if the album was that bad or if I was just a HUGE DMX fan, but it all came crashing down afterward. I have some unpublished blogs about HOV that detail what followed, as far as my Hip Hop fandom goes...

Where was this going? Ahh yes...

Gil Scott-Heron. People who know me have some idea how much I LOVE Gil Scott-Heron. I refer to him as "Thee Abbot", because musically I feel that he is my father. Therefore, I thought I'd muse through the story about how I discovered GSH.

"The irony of it all..." is that with all the great music he made, the first song I discovered (i.e. stuck with me) was "Re-Ron".  What the 1980's did to soul music could be a study in & of itself. Only Michael Jackson, Rick James & Lionel Richie survived it... kind of. I'd include Stevie Wonder, but In Square Circle came before Characters.

My earliest memories of "Re-Ron" was riding around with my father, doing whatever "Grown Man Business" he had lined up for the day. I was older than 3, but younger than 5. I also remember being in the passenger seat. Funny how that would be viewed as grossly irresponsible today. I guess I'm a survivor...

My fondest memory of "Re-Ron" was rediscovering the cassette tape with my nephew (who is 2.5 years older than me) and us dancing and laughing about the old man with the jheri curl who was "trying to rap" about politics. In 1993 Marietta, Georgia: nothing could've been funnier. We probably turned it off after our chuckle, then went and listened to Funkdafied.

The most important time that I'd heard "Re-Ron" was when in the 8th Grade. My Father, who was now ailing, had begun to send care packages of his belongings. I think there was another plan afoot, but those are family secrets and are inconsequential. In any case, I'd begun listening to the WHOLE tape, everywhere I went. By this time, I had discovered Hip Hop and it's purpose (which would've been described in that blog about Ready to Die, had I wrote it like I planned to...D'oh!), but this was like finding raw cocaine after snorting crushed re-rock. I remember I let a friend hear what I was listening to, and he said, "He's just talking right now..." which was not far from the response I'd expected. It gave me a comfortability in myself. I felt that this music & message were tied together with my future development. I knew that the fiber of my character was intertwined with The Revolution. The problem was that I had yet to figure out what in hell "The Revolution" was and how to bring it about. However, I was ablaze to learn and I now had physical evidence that it had been provided via music for years, predating what I knew to be the beating pulse of my generation.

In the 15+ years that have followed, I've heard most of Gil's work. I've read the Autobiography of Malcolm X and a lot of other books. I've discovered Public Enemy (Chuck D even follows me on Twitter, #humblebrag). I've watched a lot of Michael Moore and other documentaries. All from a song that I thought was the silliest thing ever created. But it grew on me and, in turn, I grew through it. In an era where I knew that The Notorious B.I.G. was simply "Thee Illest" & 2Pac was the radical son of a Black Panther that I didn't quite understand... While DMX was my favorite & Jay-Z was garnering my attention with slick lyricism: Gil Scott-Heron put me on a path that made me want to find my place in human history.

...but nowadays, when I turn on the radio I wonder... "Was it all for naught?" This leads me down a dark road of questioning myself. "Am I in it for the money or the love?" "What is the future security of this industry (entertainment, specifically recorded audio art)?" "Will I ever be REALLY heard?"

However, at the end of the day, if I hear a song that has more than one measure of open music in it, I'm going to try to put words in the groove. As I age towards 3 decades, that is the love. Outside of The Universe, my family, friends and one very evil woman... it is the only love I've ever known. I'm beginning to feel the pressure of being viewed as becoming "too old for the dream" and I've sacrificed a lot of visions for the realities that others have placed upon me. However, I think I'd rather face a 9mm shell to the temple than sacrifice this one. After all, niggas die for less every day.

I wanted to find my true self and the simple act of realizing that I hadn't heard "Re-Ron" in years helped to trim the fat. GOD is the greatest.

- Reron Raygun Baby #02131985